Suicidal Thoughts

What you need to know

Thinking about suicide is more common than most people realize, and it is not the same as wanting to die. For a lot of people, it is what shows up when pain has gone on longer than they can see an end to, and the thought is less about death than about the pain stopping.

You can have these thoughts and still work, still parent, still show up for people. Many people do, for years, without telling anyone. Having them does not mean you are about to act on them, and it does not mean you have to be hospitalized to get help.

You can book an appointment while you are having them. You do not need a plan, a diagnosis, or a “good enough” reason.

What happens when you tell us

There are limits to confidentiality, and your therapist will explain exactly where they sit in your first session, before you decide what to share. If your therapist determines you are an immediate danger to yourself or others, they will take immediate action to connect you with crisis resources.

How we work

Safety planning comes first for most people. A written, specific plan you build with your therapist: what your warning signs are, what helps at each stage, who to contact, and how to make your immediate environment safer while things are bad.

Alongside it, depending on what fits:

• Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based approach to treatment that focuses on how people’s thoughts, emotions, and beliefs influence their behaviour and how they perceive themselves.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is an approach that works to help the brain process information, memories, sounds, and feelings in a way that makes them be seen in a new and less distressing way.
• Mindfulness therapy is an approach to treatment that focuses on how people’s thoughts, emotions, and beliefs influence their behaviour and how they perceive themselves, others, and the world. The ability to be in the moment, to acknowledge and regulate your emotions helps you to break free from negative thought patterns.
• Person-centred therapy, which starts from the position that you understand your own experience better than anyone

We also treat what is underneath, whether that is depression, trauma, grief or something else, rather than treating the thoughts in isolation.

If you are supporting someone

You do not need the right words, and you cannot say the wrong thing badly enough to cause this.

• Ask directly. “Are you thinking about suicide?” is the question. Vague versions get vague answers.
• Listen without arguing them out of it. Being talked out of the feeling and being heard in it are different, and only one works.
• Do not promise secrecy you may not be able to keep.
• Help them make the moment safer, and help them get to someone who can help.
• Get support for yourself. You can book a session on your own. Carrying this alone is not sustainable, and it is not weak to say so.