Blog

It’s Not About the Nail – 5 Steps to Recover From a Fight

Posted on 16/04/2014 in Anger Issues

TL;DR: Every fight in a relationship needs real repair—ignoring it only makes things worse. The Gottman Institute says you need five positives for every negative to stay balanced. Use their 5-step “aftermath of a fight” tool: share your feelings, acknowledge each other’s realities, identify triggers, take responsibility, and plan for next time. The goal isn’t to be right—it’s to understand each other. Have you ever wondered why your partner doesn’t just agree with you since you are making such perfect sense? Have you ever thought “if only I married someone who was as smart as me, we’d never fight?” Well,… Read More Here!

Oxytocin’s Positive Impact on Relationships

Posted on 17/12/2013 in Couples Counselling, Sexual Issues, Stress Management

TL;DR: Oxytocin—the “love hormone”—builds trust, connection, and calm. Boost it this holiday season with hugs, touch, eye contact, and conversation to feel closer to loved ones. As I continue to work with clients and families on the subject of their relationships and sexuality, I have found the impact of Oxytocin on our brains and its effect on relationships highly fascinating. The role Oxytocin is a very important one, especially during the Christmas season; at a time when we start spending more time with family and friends. The Effects of Oxytocin More and more research is being published that indicates Oxytocin… Read More Here!

Sexual Kink and Roughplay De-listed as a Mental Disorder

Posted on 17/09/2013 in Couples Counselling, Sexual Issues

TL;DR:DSM-5 now distinguishes between paraphilias (unusual sexual interests) and paraphilic disorders (when these interests cause distress or harm). This means many alternative sexual behaviors, like consensual BDSM, are no longer automatically considered mental illnesses if they don’t cause problems or involve non-consenting people. For many of us sex therapists, some of the recent changes to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 (DSM-5), the manual for diagnosing mental disorders, have been a godsend. This new version includes a more up-to-date distinction between what a paraphilia is versus what a paraphilic disorder is. Although both are mentioned it is the latter, the… Read More Here!

Problems With The Dieting Mentality

Posted on 17/09/2013 in Anxiety, Body Image

TL;DR: Diets fail not because of willpower, but because deprivation triggers our natural urge to overeat. Instead of strict diets, focus on sustainable habits—balance, self-awareness, and realistic goals. Lasting weight loss comes from understanding your behavior and psychology, not restriction. Pretty much all of us have tried to lose weight. Maybe we are trying to lose just 10 lbs for a wedding or maybe we are trying to lose 100 lbs because our doctor is concerned about diabetes or high blood pressure. The media is saturated with ads to lose weight, while at the same time competing for air time… Read More Here!

How Do I Find the Right Counsellor For Me?

Posted on 17/09/2013 in Tips for Therapy

TL;DR: Not sure how to find the right therapist? Start by clarifying your goals and looking for counsellors whose specialties and values align with yours. The most important factor in therapy success is the relationship you build with your counsellor. Many offer free consultations—use these to find someone you feel comfortable with and can trust. Interested in counselling but have no idea where to start or how to find the right therapist? A good place to start is by asking yourself, “What is it I am looking to get out of counselling?”, or “What are my goals for therapy?” If… Read More Here!