Couples Ask a Therapist

Should my ex-wife tell my son he is a sperm bank donor baby?

Should my ex-wife tell our 16-year-old son that he is a sperm bank donor baby when we agreed that we would never tell him?

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Wife doesn’t share

I asked my wife about her past and she got really upset with me to the point that she doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve tried asking her about her past a few times before so I suppose she thinks I am suspicious of her, but is it really wrong for me to want to know her more?

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Struggling with turning a blind eye

My husband and I have been married for a year now. Our wedding was no fairy tale as we had to get married in court because of his family being Greek and insisted on me getting married in the Orthodox Church. This would not be too much to ask only that in the 6 years we’ve been together neither my husband nor his parents have been or taken me to an orthodox church, or ever did his parents teach my husband any orthodox ways. My family and I however are active Protestants and it was through my family and I that my husband found God. It was his mother being purely spiteful and saying that if we didn’t get married in a Greek church we would not get married in ANY church. (not she or my husband even understand Greek by the way and all sermons are dine in the Greek language – kind of ridiculous hey) In all of this, even though he did not always agree with her, the father (my father in law) stuck with his wife and they held a united front (kind of what I expected from my then fiancé) Anyway the lady never liked me because of my heritage and was very bitter and miserable because she had a very tough childhood. Throughout all the drama it never felt to me that my husband had “my back” and always submitted to whatever his parents had to say because they have a family business and he was financially dependent on them. We moved away in the end because he couldn’t see eye to eye with his dad in business anymore and gotten married in the meantime without his parents blessing (we are both in our late twenties – he’s closer to thirty). It’s been a year since then and recently my husband mother passed away suddenly. We immediately packed our life up and came to live with and support my father in law. I struggled a lot emotionally with all of this because i still feel a lot of bitterness toward his parents because of what happened but I did it anyway in support of my husband. It’s been 3 months now and we are still living with his dad. I am still in the process of getting over everything that’s happened so it is very difficult to see and interact with his father every day. I do it though. I cook every night for the old man and run the household. I have talked to my husband about how I feel and he understands but it still feels to me like he disregards it and rather does anything to still win his dad’s approval e.g. he does not want to upset his dad by talking about us urgently needing to move out because it is affecting our relationship. I get that, but I am going insane knowing that we are still going to live here for the next three months until our house becomes available (my husband is adamant about moving back into our old house that we used to live in when we lived in this town before). I feel that when it comes to our relationship and his parents are involved I always pull on the short end. Am i unreasonable for feeling the way I feel? What should I do? I feel like after a day’s work and all that’s been going on, I really need a place of my own and privacy to come home to at night. I have put up with all of this for my husband’s sake and to try and make things easier for him and his dad, because they have suffered with their mom and wife’s death, but it has been three months now and our life must go on. I am really insecure about our future if this is how things are going to be when it comes to him having to look after my needs. I really don’t feel so safe anymore. Am I crazy?

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More caring husband

Hi, I am having issues with my husband. He is very selfish and closed off (admittedly) and lately it’s been worse. He just wants to do things with sports or his friends. I understand he lives a busy life and he has a lot responsibility at work, but I want to feel loved and not just like roommate.

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Relationship Issues

I was in a 10 year long relationship with my husband that was very abusive. We had a lot of ups and downs. I was finally left and met a wonderful man. Why do i still want to be with the first husband?

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More questions and answers about  relationships coming soon.