Lately, I’ve been having thoughts about what it’d be like to punish the bad people in the world. I know stems from my family life. I grew up in a nutshell. My mum was a compulsive lier, and my step-father had ego problems.
It sounds like you are looking for a paradigm shift — a dramatic change.
I challenge you to start looking for the positive things in the world. Some books you may want to check out include “Man’s Search for Meaning“, “The Four Agreements“, “The Art of Happiness“, or “Why is God Laughing.”
It sounds like your relationship with your mom and step father is damaged. It’s clearly painful for you. It would be helpful to create meaningful relationships. To start building positive relationships, make a list of the people in your life who you feel (or ever felt) connected to. This could include a sibling, an aunt, a teacher, or a friend. Start spending more time with a couple of these people. Talk to them about meaningful things.
Apply the same process to the activities in your life. Explore activities that make you feel whole, and devote more time to them.
Tina Cowan, Masters Intern