Death of parents and older sibling issues

Ask A Therapist OnlineDeath of parents and older sibling issues
Jodi asked 13 years ago

To make a very, very, long story short: I am 39. My Dad died 9 yrs ago and now my Mom just passed away this summer (4 months ago). My sisters are 10 & 12 yrs older than me. I am trying to deal with the death of my parents and they keep telling me “just deal with it”. I have always had “the little sister syndrome” and never seem to be at the same stage of life as them. There is such a gap. Never felt close to my sisters and now without my parents, I feel I have no connections left to them. I’ve googled and searched, but cannot find any sources that there are others out there with such a gap between siblings and how they deal with it. People say to surround yourself with others who make you feel good… my sisters do not do that to me. So, is it bad that I just want to go on with my little life and my family? My sisters seem to cause me more stress and unhappiness than anything.

1 Answers
Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered 13 years ago


Thank you for turning to Insight. I’m very sorry for the loss of your mother and father, and for the current circumstances between you and your sisters. It sounds like the lack of emotional connection and depth in your relationships with your sisters has been an ongoing dynamic for years. It is unfortunate that you guys aren’t able to connect as a family, especially since the recent loss of your mother. It sounds like you have reached out and attempted to bond with them but they have not been receptive.

As a part of moving forward in life, it is important for you to surround yourself with people that are loving and supportive, and empathetic to your grieving process. You should feel respected and listened to by those you turn to for support.  It doesn’t sound like your sisters are very helpful or supportive of you at this time.

If you would like to discuss this matter further, please contact our office and we can book an appointment for you with one of our therapists.

All the best,