Worried about a mate

Ask A Therapist OnlineWorried about a mate
Adam cuff asked 12 years ago

A mate of mine was involved in a car accident where 1 person died and the other person was left paralyzed since then he has trouble sleeping, stopped working and is sometimes more confrontational. He talks to me about it but i dont know how to help him, i’m wondering if he possibly has ptsd

1 Answers
Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered 12 years ago


First of all, I just want to congratulate you on recognizing the importance of this issue and taking the time to educate yourself about what is happening to your mate. He most likely does have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I would suggest finding out if you have any local therapists or psychologists who practice in EMDR. Here is a link explaining what EMDR is http://emdr-therapy.com/. You may have to call around to a few therapeutic centers to find a therapist who practices EMDR.

Your mate is also grieving which is a very important process for him to go through. He is going to be experiencing a wide range of emotions including shock, denial, anger, sadness, and guilt. These emotions are normal and should be expected, however he may be feeling very abnormal, alone, and like he is going crazy (as his emotions are likely to switch from time to time). It is important, as his friend, that you normalize his varying emotions and let him know that he is not alone. Although you cannot understand what he is going through (and it is very important that he knows that you are aware of the fact that you cannot understand him right now), you are willing to stand beside him in it and you are willing to listen to him, even if he repeats the same story a dozen times. What people who have experienced major losses find to be the most helpful is that friend who said “you can call me any time, even if it’s in the middle of the night”. If you know of other friends that he has, it would be helpful to educate them on grief and post traumatic stress disorder so they can be emotionally present for you mate as well.

Check your community resources for any groups on grief and loss, or for counseling services.