Ask A Therapist OnlineCommitment issues
Anonymous asked

Hello. I have concerns as I have realized that I have difficulty committing to anything (besides relationships). I start something full of enthusiasm and that goes on for a period of time between a few days to a few months and then I get bored. I don’t want to do it anymore.

Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered

It sounds like you enjoy the “honeymoon” stage of a project, but once that’s over and the “commitment” stage shows up, you are no longer interested. It’s good to know that this does not apply to your relationships. This tells me that in your relationships, you have continued to do the work even when the enthusiasm is not present. Can you think of a project like a relationship and make a commitment to it the same way you would to a person?

Maybe start with a small project, one that won’t take too many hours to complete. Once you have the feeling of completing a project (this feeling of completion can be very rewarding), it will reinforce your desire to complete a slightly larger project. Make sure you celebrate any project that you do complete (again reinforcing the behaviour of completing a project).

Is there anyone in your life who knows you struggle with this who can support you in a non-judgemental way? Let that person know what you need from him/her in order to feel supported. Do they need to call you daily or weekly to ask about your progress? Do they need to help you celebrate the small steps? Do they simply need to tell you that they believe in you?

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