Anonymous asked

i have broken my parents trust . they are not talking to me. this is my first and last mistake. iam very shameful for what i did. what shud i do???

Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered

Every time we make a relational withdrawal (like breaking trust), we must make some relational deposits. It is going to take a lot of work to regain their trust, and they may be cold to you for a while. (during this time I suggest soothing yourself and reminding yourself to trust the process). There are little things you can do to rebuild your relationship with them, even if they are angry and withdrawn for a while.

First I suggest writing them an apology letter. Acknowledge what you did and discuss the pain that you caused them. Take accountability for that pain. Tell them what you wish you would have done differently and what you have learned from this mistake. Then state what you will do differently in the future if the same situation was to present itself.

Next start doing little things around them to rebuild the relationship. This could be picking up extra chores around the house, telling them a funny joke or a fun experience you had, making them a cup of tea in the evening, leaving “i love you” notes where they will find them, etc… there are many small things you can do. I know it seems counter intuitive to do these things with someone who is demonstrating anger towards you, and at first they may not accept your acts of kindness, but they will think about them.

Parents have difficulties staying angry at their children forever. Trust their love for you and trust that you can rebuild the trust again. If you need to talk to someone in person, you can always make an appointment with us at 780-461-1717, or The Support Network (780-482-0198).

 

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