Anonymous asked

Ever since I got pregnant October 2010… My boyfriend started being very abusive… He’d do these awful things towards me and his family wouldn’t do anything about it…The whole time I was pregnant he abused me, he’d do something just to hurt me and then come back to me like nothing happened. I had my baby three months ago, I started to notice a LITTLE change, but beyond that things were still the same… Hitting, yelling, putting me down… But it’s not only him. We argue quite often, in front of our son, and I want it to stop. We have a very hard time talking things in a calm matter… If you are able to help me and give me some advice on this, can you please… Thank you!

Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered

Shannon,

Thank you for turning to Insight Psychological for help. I’m sorry to hear that you and your son are being exposed to domestic violence. I’m very concerned about the safety and well-being of your son if you continue to remain in this abusive relationship.

In regards to your question, it can be difficult to communicate effectively, assert yourself, and set physical and emotional boundaries with an abusive partner. Based on the information you have shared, it sounds like your boyfriend continually disrespects you and violates your boundaries. You and your son are at risk every day that you remain in this relationship. It is possible for you and your boyfriend to have a respectful and non-abusive relationship if he sees his behaviour as a problem, he recognizes the impact of his behaviour on you, your son, and the relationship, and he is willing to seek help for it.

You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and your son deserves to live in a healthy, safe, and stable home. It is your responsibility as a parent to keep your child safe.  Your son doesn’t have a voice in the matter, so I want to emphasize the importance of putting his needs first.  

I encourage you to book an appointment with one of our therapists to explore your options and to develop a safety plan for you and your son.

We hope to hear from you soon,

Ashley

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