This is a very detailed but weird question. I have a feeling there is something wrong with me. I have been diagnosed with depression. Either I barely sleep or I sleep way to much. I have had many suicidal/homicidal thoughts in the past and some anxiety. But, I have a feeling I have paranoia or something beyond that. I always get that feeling someone is watching me and talking about me. I have problems in relationships with guys because I am so paranoid, and have a rocky relationship with my family because I’m paranoid when I’m around them. I was physically abused as a child, and a little by my ex if that’s relatable. I tend to spend a lot of time alone in my room, I talk to myself and sometimes pretend people are there (in my room) and there talking but there not really there. Sometimes I’ll be happy and chipper one moment, the next I’ll be super irritated or super quiet and talk to no one. I occasionally text people and go see family. But I like being alone. I tend to bite my finger nails, not normally, I bite them clear off where there is no nail left. I lost interest in a lot of things, but that’s cause of my depression. And I have night terrors, I’ve had the same night terror since i was about 7, I tend to wake up with scratches all over my body, sometimes deep scratches, especially on my face and arms, I’ve been checked on at night because I was screaming so terrifyingly in my sleep but have no memory of it once I wake up. As you see all my problems, can you tell me whats wrong????
Wow. I admire your openness regarding the issues you have been struggling with. You have presented with a number of different concerns, particularly surrounding your depression and paranoia, so I imagine that you feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. Based on your disclosure, it sounds like you have a lot of awareness regarding your day-to-day struggles, and you recognize the issues you want to address and the areas in your life in which you want to improve. With your level of motivation and insight, you would likely benefit from meeting with a therapist from our office. Therapy is one way in which you can gain even more insight into your thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and past experiences. I encourage you to book an appointment with one of our therapists to begin working through these issues one by one.