My best friend just went to a mental hospital and I didn’t tell her how I felt about her before she left…..and I cut myself again. I don’t think I can stop.
Are you able to write your friend a letter expressing how you felt about her? do you have the mailing address of the hospital she went to?
As for the cutting, I highly recommend speaking to someone who can help you cope with this. You’ve made a very big step forward just my reaching out and asking for help.
There are several numbers you can contact for support. You can book an appointment here at Insight Psychological (780-461-1717), or you could try The Support Network (780-482-0198), or The Distress Line (780-482-4357)
In the meantime, I am going to offer you some suggestions that you may want to try before cutting. Consider this a commitment to yourself to cope with intense emotions in a safe way. Often the feeling to cut will pass if you wait it out, you just need something to help you wait it out, to pass the time with. I suggest doing these things in order whenever you have the urge to cut.
1. before the urge to cut happens (when you are in a more positive state of mind), remove the items that you use to cut. Put them somewhere that will be difficult for you to access them if you are feeling the urge
2. ask someone to be a “safe place” for you. This means you can call them any time- day or night to talk until the urge to cut passes.
3. find an activity that you enjoy doing; painting, playing with play doe, passing the floor, deep breathing, playing with lego, going for a run. Anything to distract you until the feeling to cut passes. I know the urge to cut is stronger then the urge to do any of these other activities, but just give yourself permission to do them anyway. Cutting will always be there if nothing else works.
4. call the distress line. They are available 24 hours a day. 780-482-4357
5. try a safer method than cutting that will still release endorphins (the release of endorphins in response to physical pain is what makes cutting addictive). Some examples include quickly rubbing ice cubes on the skin, or snapping a rubber band on the wrist.