I hate myself, everything about me, from where my hair starts on my head, to the tip of my toes. I have an alright life. I guess it`s who you are comparing me to, when I was younger and a bit now my mother would beat me, my dad doesn`t really know who I am, and doesn`t really like me . I have two sisters and a brother, and also my step mother is pregnant for twins, my elder sister is going to jail, and she is really the only person who cares about me. I`m in all advanced IB courses at school, captain of the cheerleading team, I have a large group of “friends” but I still hate myself , and honestly have been trying to think of reason why I am alive still, or why I was born, who actually cares about me. I cry all the time sometimes I dont even know why. could you just try to help me?
It sounds like you’ve experienced a fair share of difficulty and challenge so far in your life. Despite that, you’ve managed to balance your school responsibilities. Any type of abuse can threaten and damage the self within an individual. When individuals have a history of abuse, many are able to continue on with normal life activity. However, due to the abuse, the self becomes vulnerable. Distorted thought processes may develop as a self-protection mechanism, which continues on despite its harmful effects. These thought distortions can influence the way you see yourself and others. It is important for you to understand that you did not deserve be physically abused by your mother. You will be able to move past this, regain value to your life, and experience personal growth. In order for this to occur, I would suggest speaking with one of our therapists at Insight Psychological. We will be able to set you with a counsellor that will support you in this process. We have different psychologists at standard rates and also student therapists on a sliding scale for services.