Ask A Therapist OnlineI don’t know what to do
Anonymous asked

I am living in Japan and have just entered a Master’s course at a university. Prior to that I’ve been working as an English teacher part-time, for about 4 years. I took classes from different people and companies, and the first year it was OK, though I felt a little stressed because I’m not a native speaker and when I took the job I lied that I was one. I have a slight accent and when I was teaching I was constantly scared that other natives could hear me and tell the boss (no one did, and I think they didn’t care but it was very stressful for me). In 1 year time I got quite a lot of students and I started working 6 days a week. I stopped having holidays or vacations (because of the “paid-for-an-hour” syndrome, I couldn’t resist when people asked me for classes on holidays). I stopped going to the gym because I felt I didn’t have time for that anymore. Approximately at the same time I started binge spending (probably because of the stress). I was practically spending all I was making and it urged me to try to make more, which I would then spend even faster. I started feeling exhausted and depressed but was very afraid to let some students go because of my feeling of insecurity (it was all part-time, I didn’t and I don’t have health insurance and I constantly feel abandoned and stranded). I have no job prospects in my own country back home, I have no property (I rent), so I feel very insecure and like I have no future. About a year ago, after a particularly tough month something strange happened to my mood. I stopped being able to feel tired. I went to sleep not because I felt tired but because I knew that I should. During the day I experienced unusual excitement (unpleasant), and I felt like I couldn’t control myself when speaking to people. I wasn’t happy or high, I felt more like… like I’m a train that’s going so fast it cannot be stopped now. I started having problems with my blood pressure (experiencing both high and low at times) and I couldn’t relax my muscles no matter what I did (massage, exercise, medication). Plus I started having tremors (hands and legs primarily). I got pretty scared and practically dropped all my classes. It helped but I have, unfortunately, by that time decided to enter the university and had to move to another city. It was very hard and tiring, I felt I really needed a vacation (because I haven’t had it in 4 years) but the circumstances seemed to be against me. I took the entrance exams in August and passed. Because at that time due to a short stop in teaching I was not expreiencing frightening symptoms, I thought it would be OK to work part-time again AND study in the lab, so I did so for the past 3 weeks. The symptoms returned. I immediately stopped teaching (that was 4 days ago) and now keep only the university studies. But the symptoms keep getting worse. What should I do? Am I from now on completely incapable of carrying on normal 8-hour working activities? Where do I go? Who can help me?

Looking for more help?

Insight Psychological has qualified therapists in Edmonton South, Edmonton North, Edmonton Central, Calgary, Spruce Grove, and Red Deer as well as options for online counselling. Contact us today and begin your journey towards a happier, healthier life.