Susana asked 12 years ago
Hi how can I tell my mom that I don’t want to listen to her without hurting her feelings? She just hurts me every time I want to get distant to her i ignore her but makes everything worse I have a stepdad narcissistic who gives me the silent treatment I believe his parents did the same to him.
Insight Psychological Staff answered 12 years ago
Susana,
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Setting boundaries and being assertive with our loved ones is often a challenging process. Sometimes when we set boundaries with others they have a hard time accepting and even respecting them. It definitely sounds like this is a boundary that is important for you to set so I encourage you to consider the following guidelines when you speak to your mom next: Be as clear and concise as possible, be prepared to follow through by acting in congruence with the boundary you set, have a support system around you when you enforce this boundary, use “I” statements to express your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and remain as calm as possible. Setting boundaries with your mom may be hard to do but it sounds like it will be beneficial for your emotional and psychological health.
All the best,
Ashley Tulloch
