cassie girard asked 12 years ago
my sister is 10 and she has these melt downs when ever she doesn’t get her way whe have had to deal with a lot in the past 2years but i just dont know how or what to do to calm her down. she screams kicks things bangs doors and you just can not calm her down we have tried sending her to her room ect
Insight Psychological Staff answered 12 years ago
Children’s tantrums can be very difficult to manage. When a child does not know how to regulate her emotions, the emotions can greatly impact the rest of the family. It’s important that you and your parents remain calm during these melt downs (as difficult as that is). Remember that you are the role-models, and just because she is having a negative out-burst, does not mean that the rest of you need to have a bad day. She needs to see this. She needs to see that “my behaviors have no influence over my family”. I know it’s counter intuitive as I’m sure you and your parents want to yell back at her, but this will not work. She needs to see that the rest of the family can be happy and continue to enjoy themselves whether she is having a tantrum or not. My suspicion is that right now, she has the most control in the whole family (she is able to greatly influence other people’s emotions).
I highly recommend the DVD “123 magic”. You can get it at the Edmonton public library, but there is often a hold on it. you may also be able to order it from Amazon. You could also book an appointment with a family therapist here at Insight (780-461-1717), or at the Family Center (780-424-5580).
