Crystal asked 12 years ago
I am currently 7 months pregnant and I feel like I can take no more of the arguing and fighting me and my boyfriend have. Everyday;from time get up to time go to bed that we are together we argue and fight over everything. From money to cleaning, or just arguing over what we talked about. We fought when I wasnt pregnant too and its just gotten worse. We have been together for almost 13 years now and we did not plan on having a baby, just before I got pregnant we were talking about breaking up. I dont want our baby to have to go through listening to us fighting all the time. But i dont want my child to grow up like i did, going back and forth from mom to dad, I want to be able to provide my baby a good healthy home. I dont know what to do. I ask my boyfriend to go to couples counselling with me and he laughs and says its all me and he dont need counselling. I really needs some help and advice, please tell me what i should do?
Insight Psychological Staff answered 12 years ago
Bringing a baby into the world creates a strong link between you and your boyfriend. Many people disregard couples counseling, however, I would continue to suggest this to him. In couples counseling, a therapist can act as a neutral party for the couple. As a neutral party, the therapist will help each of you determine your expectations and needs from the relationship. Once this has been acknowledged, the therapist can support both of you in teaching the other partner how to meet these needs/expectations. Incompatibilities can arise. However, a therapist can coach the couple to use important communication styles such as active listening or conflict resolution. Whether or not you remain as a couple, by creating a base of healthy communication, your child will be exposed to a healthy relationship bewteen mother and father. If your boyfriend continues to oppose the idea of couples counseling, I would suggest you seek support individually to help manage the difficulties that you are experiencing. In individual counseling, you may benefit from learning and implementing self-soothing techniques to support you during the difficulties in your relationship. Insight Psychological provides both couples and individual counseling if this is something that you feel will help you.
