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Ask A Counsellor - Answered

Asked by Shauna on 2011-12-21

Sexless

Hello, My husband and I have been married for 12 yrs. Now after 15 yrs together and 2 kids later we have sex once a week, or once every 2 weeks. I am wanting sex a lot more than him (we are both 37). We love one another and still find each other very attractive, so should I be worried? Am I overreacting in thinking once a week or every two weeks is too little sex?

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Ashley's Answer

Answered on 2011-12-22
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Shauna,

Thank you for your questions.  I can appreciate your concerns regarding your sex life.  Let me assure you that all couples experience sexual desire issues at one time or another and it is a part of a normal process of marriage.  According to Schnarch in Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship (2009), there is always a low desire and high desire partner and it is not uncommon for men to be the low desire partner in a relationship.  It sounds like you have a healthy, loving, and committed relationship with your husband and would like to enhance the sex and intimacy in your marriage. There is nothing wrong with that!

If you would like to address this issue with a therapist, I encourage you to book an appointment at our Edmonton office with either Cory Hrushka or Melodie Sanford.  Both therapists have the training and experience to work effectively with issues surrounding sex and intimacy with couples.

All the best,

Ashley Tulloch

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