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My boyfriend is bisexual
My boyfriend of over a year has recently confessed to me that he believe he is bisexual. He had an experience when he was in Grade 9 (he is now 26) and I am his second "serious" relationship. He at first suggested experimenting or acting on these sexual fantasies and involving me in them. I am not interested in this, so he has now stated that he wants to continue with our strictly monogamous relationship because he would never want to hurt me or lose me. I love this man incredibly but I am extremely confused and have alot of questions but don't know what to do with the answers. What are we up against? Do other people have success in "Bisexual Monogamy"? I feel like we are doomed but I am willing to try and move past. He feels his confession changes nothing within our relationship, but I feel like he dropped a huge bomb and changed everything. We need help. I'm so confused.
Ashley's Answer
Answered on 2011-07-26
KP,
Thank you for contacting Insight Psychological for help. I can appreciate your concern and confusion regarding your boyfriend's bisexual thoughts and fantasies. I can imagine it was a difficult conversation for both you and your boyfriend to have.
In regards to your concerns, it is important to recognize that a person's sexual orientation does not directly relate to his or her choice to be monogamous in a relationship. Whether your boyfriend is heterosexual or bisexual, it should not have any influece on his choice to remain committed to your relationship if that is what he desires. Based on the information you have disclosed, it sounds like your boyfriend is willing to do what it takes to avoid hurting you further and is dedicated to making your relationship work (bisexual or not).
If couples therapy is an option you and your boyfriend would like to explore, our therapists are trained and experienced to address these types of relational issues and would be more than willing to meet with you.
Best of luck to you both,
Ashley
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